February.

Okay, so, who wants to be the one to hand me the award for most guilty-feeling selfish person? Seriously, I’ll wait. With my 95-year-old grandfather on hospice, consuming the entirety of my family, the last thing I really need to be doing is having any spotlight on me. But boy, does my matrix know when to fuck with me. It was Monday, February 10th when everything went wrong. Not only was my grandfather critically admitted into the ICU, but my irrefutably tumultuous relationship with Mary Jane became undeniable. As my stomach burned like the depths of hell, I knew that Me and MJ, needed to break up. I always thought of myself more as a Peter Parker, that in EVERY universe I was meant to be with MJ. I guess that’s not really the case… but god I wish it was. THC was the delicious-tasting fuzzy bandaid that magically made my everyday illnesses livable. So you can imagine that deciding to split up didn’t go the most amicably. MJ is the ex that makes you want to keep coming back. The ex that you damn well know is really bad for you, but you just can’t resist because they are the only person that truly gets you. Sigh, I miss MJ. BUT I DIDN’T GO BACK!

So yeah, going sober really does suck. So what can make life with withdrawals, a very ill grandfather, and horrible stomach issues even better? If you guessed having your boyfriend take you to the ER on Valentine’s Day, you would be right. Safe to say, I think I can get the worst Valentine award too at this rate. Instead of a box of chocolates, I got an extra paralyzed stomach. Instead of sweet gifts, I gave my boyfriend a barf bag to hold for me. Again, my matrix has quite some timing.

How I imagine my matrix programming my uncannily timed misfortunes

Yeah...February sucked. Between heavy anticipatory grief, health issues, selfish worries, and going sober, the only thing keeping me tethered is Showtime’s Yellowjackets. But that’s for another time.